Because you didn’t come all the way out, do your hair, and wear real pants just to talk to the top of someone’s head.
We’ve all been there. You’re at dinner, pouring out your heart (or at least trying to talk about something more substantial than TikTok trends), and your friend/partner/family member is nodding… but not looking at you. They’re three swipes deep into someone else’s life. Again.
Welcome to the era of phubbing—phone snubbing—and it’s making too many of us feel invisible in real life. According to a TIME Magazine article, this isn’t just rude. It chips away at intimacy, trust, and connection.
So what do you say to someone who’s trapped in their screen while you’re trying to be present in the moment? Something clever, calm, and a little savage if needed. Here are 10 bold, witty, and slightly uncomfortable things to say when someone won’t get off their phone—and you’re over it.
1. “Should I just text you what I’m saying?”
Translation: Since we’ve both accepted that your screen gets top billing, I may as well join you in the digital dimension. This one cuts, but it lands. Perfect for when sarcasm is your love language.
2. “I’ll wait until you’re done talking to your phone.”
Say it sweet. Say it slow. Say it while folding your arms like you’re the one holding the power. Because you are. Passive-aggressive? Maybe. Effective? Always.
3. “Is your phone more interesting than me? Be honest.”
Let’s call a spade a glowing, distracting, relationship-killing spade. If they laugh and look up—great. If they hesitate—you’ve got bigger issues than Instagram.
4. “I came here to spend time with you. Not your thumbs.”
Sometimes, a soft but firm reminder hits harder than a read. You’re not begging. You’re setting boundaries. Let them know your energy is valuable—and limited.
5. “So… we doing this, or should I go?”
Brutally direct. Unapologetically adult. No one wants to be the background music to someone’s endless scroll. Reclaim your time like it’s 2016 and you’re Maxine Waters.
6. “Are you getting paid to ignore me?”
Because unless you’re a social media manager, influencer, or a brain surgeon on call, there’s zero reason to be this glued to a device during quality time. Period.
7. “I didn’t realize I was interrupting your screen time.”
This one’s light enough to make them laugh and heavy enough to sting. A polite jab, delivered with a smile and a sip of your drink.
8. “Do you want to reschedule for when you’re more available?”
Ouch. But real. Because sitting across from someone who’s mentally somewhere else is a waste of everyone’s time. Call it what it is and offer a raincheck—with a side of self-respect.
9. “I miss you. The real you. Not your avatar.”
A little vulnerable, a little poetic, and 100% accurate. Sometimes people don’t realize how disconnected they’ve become until you say it plainly. This one gets under the skin—in a good way.
10. “If I died right now, would you even look up?”
Okay, yes, it’s a little dramatic. But if you’ve been on 12 different outings where you had to compete with Candy Crush, Pinterest, and six group chats… it might be time to deliver this wake-up call.
The Science Says It’s Not Just You
According to studies cited in TIME, phubbing can create genuine emotional distress. It makes people feel ignored, unimportant, and rejected—especially in close relationships. What starts as “I’m just checking this real quick” turns into habitual disconnection.
Couples who phub each other report lower relationship satisfaction, and friendships often suffer quietly because we’re all too polite (or too tired) to say something.
How to Say It Without Starting a Full-On Fight
You don’t have to go full scorched-earth to speak your mind. Start with context:
🔹 Choose your moment—don’t call them out mid-text unless it’s that bad.
🔹 Use “I” statements: “I feel a little dismissed when you’re on your phone the whole time.”
🔹 Sprinkle in humor—humor can turn tension into insight.
🔹 Be consistent. Set the tone by also putting your phone down.
Bonus tip: Don’t bring it up for the first time at a group gathering. You’re trying to reclaim attention, not start a public debate on digital etiquette.
Sometimes, It’s You
Let’s get uncomfortable for a second. Have you ever been the one phubbing? Caught mid-scroll while your friend’s venting about work or your kid’s trying to show you something “SO COOL”?
Yeah. Same.
We’re all guilty.
But being present is a daily choice. And sometimes that choice means turning off notifications, putting your phone face-down, and being fully there—on purpose.
This Isn’t Just About Phones. It’s About Respect.
Phones aren’t evil. Social media isn’t the devil. But when our connections to digital things start replacing our connections to real people, something’s broken.
We deserve better. We deserve conversations where both people feel seen, heard, and valued. And it starts with being bold enough to say:
“Hey… I’d love it if you looked up for a second.”
Because what’s happening in real life is more important than whatever is trending in someone else’s.
Links/References:
TIME: What to Say When People Won’t Get Off Their Phone
Fierce Millenial 
Leave a comment