Setting boundaries around hygiene and navigating relationship red flags.

Girl, we’ve got to talk. It seems like conversations about basic hygiene are STILL a thing in 2024. A recent thread online had women everywhere shaking their heads (and washing their hands) after a woman shared a wild story. She asked her boyfriend to wash his hands after they returned from a public outing, and he flat-out refused!

His logic? “I’m an adult, and I can do what I want.”

Look, we’re all for autonomy, but this ain’t it. This situation raises a few questions:

• Hygiene as a Non-Negotiable: Should hand washing be up for debate in a relationship?
• Red Flags or Room for Compromise?: Is this a sign of more significant issues or a matter of finding common ground?
• Setting Boundaries Like a Boss: How do you communicate your needs without it turning into a power struggle?

Own Your Personal Hygiene Standards

First thing’s first, there’s NO shame in having standards when it comes to hygiene. It’s about self-respect and basic health considerations. It’s especially valid if you and your partner are getting intimate – that’s a prime opportunity for spreading germs!

Is There More to the Story?

It’s fair to wonder if there’s a backstory to this guy’s aversion to hand washing. Does he generally have lax standards around hygiene? That might indicate a larger pattern of behavior. Is this a control issue disguised as a hygiene debate? His “I can do what I want” attitude does raise a red flag.

Time to Talk It Out

Open and honest communication is always the best policy. Try these approaches:

• “I” Statements: Focus the conversation on your needs: “I feel uncomfortable when we get intimate without washing hands first. Can we find a way to address this?
• Teamwork Approach: Frame it as mutual respect: “Hey, how about we set a hand-washing routine together for the sake of both our health and comfort?”
• Boundary Setting 101: Be clear. If this is a non-negotiable for you, state it: “I need you to understand that hand washing before intimacy is essential for me.”

When Conversations Go Nowhere

Sadly, some people just aren’t willing to compromise. If you’ve communicated clearly, he’s not budging, and this feels like a fundamental incompatibility, it might be time to reconsider.

Remember, your values around health, hygiene, and respect are important. Don’t lower your standards to accommodate someone unwilling to meet them.