Married life isn’t always sunshine and roses. Seasoned couples share the hard truths about relationships that need to be discussed more openly.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the fairytale wedding, the Pinterest-worthy reception, and the #RelationshipGoals social media posts that it’s easy to forget that marriage is hard work. No matter how in love you are, long-term relationships come with unique challenges.

Sure, society paints marriage as the ultimate happily-ever-after, but what does that really look like? Recently, older married adults have been getting candid, sharing the “marriage myths” they wish they knew when they were younger. Let’s ditch the rose-colored glasses and listen up.

Myth #1: “Your Partner Will Read Your Mind”

You see this one in movies all the time. One look and they just know. Newsflash: life isn’t a rom-com. Communication is key. Expecting your partner to intuit your every need sets you up for disappointment. Many seasoned couples note that clear and open communication becomes even more important as the years go by.

Myth #2: “If You Love Someone Enough, Everything Will Work Out”

While love is foundational, it’s not a magic fix for all problems. Relationships require commitment, respect, compromise, and the ability to navigate conflict. Sometimes, love isn’t enough—and that’s okay.

Myth #3: “You Won’t Change After Marriage”

Let’s be real; no one remains static, especially over a lifetime together. People change, and with that, the dynamics of a relationship shift. Expecting otherwise is unrealistic. The key is adapting and evolving together with grace.

Myth #4: “You Won’t Fight After You’re Married”

If you didn’t argue before marriage, newsflash: you will afterward. All healthy couples disagree. The difference between a successful marriage and one that falls apart is how you handle those disagreements—with respect and a willingness to find solutions.

Myth #5: “Marriage Is the Ultimate Goal”

Marriage isn’t some finish line you cross to achieve your best life. Many older adults emphasize the importance of a fulfilling life outside of marriage, filled with strong friendships, hobbies, and self-growth. Marriage can be a wonderful addition, not the sole purpose.

So, What’s The Message? Marriage can be incredibly rewarding, but it’s important to go in with realistic expectations. Openness, honesty, hard work—that’s where the true magic of commitment lies.