Adulting is hard—especially when your bank account is crying, but those new shoes are calling your name. Let’s talk about it.

Let’s Keep It 100: We’re Stressed. And We’re Spending.

Inflation is on 10, rent is ridiculous, and student loans are lurking in the shadows like that ex who just won’t let go. Everywhere we turn, we’re being told to save, invest, build wealth, and secure our financial futures. And yet… gestures at online shopping carts everywhere …we’re also spending. A lot.

So, what gives? Are we all just bad with money? Or is something deeper at play?

The truth is messy—because life is messy. Our spending habits are tied to more than just financial literacy. They’re wrapped up in societal pressures, emotional needs, and the very real struggle of navigating a world that often feels designed to keep us broke.

We live in a culture that pushes retail therapy as self-care, drowns us in perfectly curated ads, and low-key shames us if we’re not keeping up with the Beyoncés of the world. And let’s be real—sometimes, after a week from hell, that latte and that new lipstick feel like the only things keeping us sane.

We Know Better… So Why Are We Still Doing It?

Let’s be clear: We’re not out here recklessly blowing our rent money. Most of us know the importance of saving. We’ve read the personal finance books. We’ve downloaded the budgeting apps. We understand how credit scores work.

But knowledge doesn’t erase the emotional and psychological triggers that drive our spending.

That new outfit? It’s not just a new outfit. It’s a confidence boost. A small moment of control in an otherwise chaotic world. A little reminder that we’re doing okay—even when everything around us feels like it’s crumbling.

And let’s not even get started on the specific financial struggles of millennial and Gen X women.

We were told we could “have it all.” Instead, we graduated into a recession, entered a job market that didn’t love us back, and now get to deal with another economic crisis just for fun. Add in a gender pay gap, career pressures, and the expectation to always “look the part” in professional and social settings, and yeah… sometimes that impulse purchase feels like an act of rebellion.

So, What’s the Game Plan?

We’re not here to shame spending. But we do need to check in with ourselves and make sure our money moves align with what we really want long-term.

Here are a few things that can help:

1. Recognize the Emotional Triggers Behind Your Spending

Before clicking “Buy Now,” pause. Are you shopping because you actually need something—or because you’re stressed, bored, or feeling insecure? Start noticing the patterns. Awareness is the first step toward change.

2. Set Realistic Budgets That Work for You

Traditional budgeting methods can feel restrictive. Find a system that fits your lifestyle. Maybe it’s the 50/30/20 rule. Maybe it’s cash-stuffing. Maybe it’s setting a boujee budget—a guilt-free amount for the occasional treat while keeping the bigger picture in mind.

[Link: “Smart About Money”]

3. Create a “Pause Before You Purchase” Rule

Before buying something, give yourself 24 hours to think it over. If you still want it after that, go for it. You’d be surprised how often that “must-have” item turns into a “meh” after some time passes.

4. Find Other Ways to “Treat Yourself”

Feeling the urge to spend? Try swapping in a non-shopping reward: A long walk, a DIY self-care night, a deep convo with a friend. Sometimes, what we really need is comfort—not another Amazon package.

5. Build a Money-Minded Support System

Talk about money. With your friends. With your coworkers. With online communities that get it. When we share our financial wins and struggles, we realize we’re not alone. And that’s powerful.

[Link: “The Spending Well Community”]

At the End of the Day…

Managing money isn’t just about cutting expenses—it’s about building a healthy relationship with your finances. It’s about balance. It’s about making intentional choices that support your well-being without feeling like you have to sacrifice everything fun in life.

Will we still have those “treat yourself” moments? Absolutely. But with a little mindfulness, a solid plan, and a community that gets it, we can secure the bag and our peace of mind.

And maybe—just maybe—we can finally take that dream vacation without the side of financial anxiety.